souls intertwined. the most beautiful thing about life is that there’s millions if not billions of people on planet earth. a new life is being created every single day and night. i promise you that. creators are creating creators & creating legacies with energy. we are created with energy so for me it’s a big deal to find the love of my life. not just for the sake of love in abundance but for the sake of creating with that energy & truly making life fucking magical. i never knew why my heart was so particular or why my mind always roamed to places of doubt with previous lovers but now i am started to see that our spirits reject what isn’t in tune with what our purpose is. of course this is just my way of thinking but it totally makes a lot of sense & it isn’t to say that love is easy because it’s a challenge to love someone with all of you. there will be days when everything is bliss. where it all feels so perfect & days when you feel doubtful or uncertain. most times people haven’t even come across the one that makes their spirit literally jump out of their bodies to latch onto the other half. i am so grateful for the internet. i’m so thankful for the creators of social media. they have changed so many lives with technology alone. we can find our loves so much faster these days. just remember to be patient & to be open. love doesn’t always look or feel the way you think it will. give it time & watch how life flows.
note to self. i have always had a hard time verbally expressing myself. it began as a child. it began with me thinking very little of myself & my opinions - just truly feeling like my self worth meant nothing to anyone including myself. it started at home & then in school but most importantly it started with me. i feared the world that i lived in so much yet i was truly intrigued at the very same time. i didn’t know the difference between rich, wealthy & poor until i was taught that. i didn’t know the difference between public housing & other living until society showed me that we fall into categories. i didn’t know that some people came from two parent homes or that being raised by a single parent had the ups & downs that it did but i learned through my mothers experience. i look at myself & say wow - do you know how far you’ve come? why are you so full of life yet confined by thoughts. simple thoughts. where is my strength? what do i believe in? what do i have to offer this world? what are my views & how do i look at what i’m creating as a gift from the universe with no judgement attached to it. i want to love as a whole. i want to love everything & everybody. i want to know that in life it’s okay to be disappointed sometimes but to pray & move on - not to hold on. my body is going through a change. i can feel this cleansing coming over me just ready for me to soak in earths ocean & rinse myself of any ill feelings towards any negative thing that creeps in my mind, body & soul. i’m so blessed.
jus reflectin’. i realize that i need to always dedicate time to myself but not only to myself but to my goals & interest. i should always be learning something new about myself and those who are around me. i am working on becoming more open with self & letting go of selfishness. i am working towards the life i always vision when i close my eyes or those waking thoughts when i’m first opening my eyes. life isn’t a struggle. bills aren’t going to be the death of me. in fact i am looking at life differently. i am looking at the time we waste trying to sort or figure things out that will gradually be sorted as we go along in life. i tend to want full control or feel as though it’s needed. to sum it up everyday should be eye opening. everyday should be a day that we give thanks & work towards the things we truly desire & rid ourselves of toxic waste.
we are created with energy. think about that for a second. think about the energy you attract in your life. think about those you surround yourself with. think about your parents. think about their journey together. think about your connection tied to them. think about your closeness. think about everything because it’s all created with energy. before we are born, we are created. for whatever reason these two souls got together & created you. think about it further. what energy were you created with? what emotions were evoked in the process? these two souls have their own journey in life yet they came together. why? good question. ultimately what did they truly feel for one another? their truth comes from the birth of you. no matter what story they tell themselves their truth is you. your life path is created by their energy. let’s put it into perspective. we are born with obvious traits - the physical, mental & emotional. which ultimately shapes & molds us to look, feel and think the way that we do.
you are a whole new being all together with a path that is designed specifically for you. we all have a purpose & our purpose is to be challenged. it’s set up in that manner for you to conquer. we have these obstacles in our life but they aren’t really obstacles. they are apart of your journey. it feels like a video came when you really truly think about it. you may be stuck on a level for a while not understanding why you can’t figure it out - why you can’t move forward. it’s the same with life. we have these hurdles in life because we have to figure it out. we have to take our time & understand what life is showing us. what is it? there’s so much to it but you get the gist of what i’m saying.
hiiiigh times. first off leme say that being high within itself can be relaxing. i never knew how awkward i could be until i started smoking. i realize that when i smoke i’d rather not be on the phone because the conversation feels like it’s going faster than it is. i feel like i forget things & overall i be silent during my highest moments. when i snap out of it im wondering what i couldve possibly said. it’s like all i want to do is lay down & zone out & daydream for hours. i can’t function to do anything else. sometimes i just laugh. shit be funny even when it’s not. other times i listen to music or focus hella hard on things but i mainly listen to music though. it sounds much clearer. at times i think it brings out my inner most truths & makes me a talkative person if i’m passionate about the topic. it has many perks to it. i’ve been feeling some light dizziness in my head mixed with this feeling of needing sleep. it’s a trip. that’s all i can say. i am learning something new about myself each time i smoke & to think that i was once like.. naaa. please! not anymore. leme hit that blunt bruh!
28mm 2.8 lens. it’s the newest edition to my not so existing collection of lenses. it has me excited about shooting with it this weekend. i actually look forward to using it as a walk around lens for my canon t2i. i haven’t been invested at all. i’ve actually been very uninspired as of lately for whatever reason. a few nights ago i actually made a conscious decision to sell my camera equipment that had been basically collecting dust which included a tripod, some tripod wheels, light reflectors, a stabilizer & something supposed to be a stabilizer or a beginners rig. i wrestled with it at first because i had no intent to trade for the lens itself. i went into it with a notion to make money but i am truly grateful for the lens & for meeting the guy that traded with me. the connections we make with people on a daily are rather interesting & how we connect is even more intriguing.