i came across these beautiful women about a year or so ago and i’ve got to say it was love at first sight. i’d been in need of positivity & hope as an individual that struggles with identity, self worth, acceptance and so fourth. i’d been watching videos on youtube about love, equality, and just gawking at the married gay and lesbian couples. i believe i wanted to cry when i came across gail marquis and audrey smaltz. to know that their love union came together well after they were established and pretty much by the grace of god gives me a depth of hope and confidence within myself. these women are the love story of my life.
we are selfish beings to think that our lives lived are only for us. we have knowledge, we have wisdom & most importantly we are givers. we aren’t here to gain all the time. it’s a larger picture than that. we have these hearts, emotions & feelings that we want to harbor and protect for life without realizing that we have these things to ultimately give to the next. love is a beautiful thing & nothing can taint that but our very thoughts. with that being said we are also providers, craftsman, educators, mentors, advocates and leaders. what we put into the universe matters.
i’ve struggled long & hard with where i stand in this world. i am that one percent that wants to make a huge impact in such a small way. i want to contribute and give, give, give until my heart hurts. my struggle lies within having confidence and an understanding as to what self worth really means to me. i drive my self to over stress things that are rather simple. i’m working on creating my foundations and ordering my steps. though i’ve been down this particular road before i am certain that i am more ready for this etched path than i was in the past. i’m just striving to plant seeds of positivity every step of the way. peace and love!
so i basically stumbled across this beautiful being one night while trying to get some tips for video editing. after going through what seemed like hundreds of videos i stumbled across hers. i’m always amazed by the timing of how things come about. it’s when you least expect to find a reason for a light to be sparked - it happens. just thought i’d share this particular video because it’s one of those videos that grabbed my attention. i love the whole be shameless moto. life goal : meet shameless maya :)
i discovered jazz music on my own beings though it wasn’t a genre that was played in my household. it’s the most enjoyable genre of music i have ever listened to. i’ve got to say that if it wasn’t for the cosby show my love for this beautiful genre wouldn’t be what it is today. when i really got into musicians and albums miles davis was the first one i came across. his name & face have always been familiar to me throughout the years but now it’s deeper than that. this man was talented. i suggest you just youtube to him and allow yourself to fall in love with some timeless sounds. do yourself that favor.
there was once upon a time when i had no idea how amazing black and white films were. i was very ignorant to the fact that they are actually really amazing but i am happy to have watched a few of them in my time. i intend to really get into them when i find some time. lauren bacall is absolutely everything. i’d travel back in time for her. i’m not sure what i love more her smile, that voice, her beauty or her presence. they all make her unique in my book so i’ll just say she’s amazing & to know that she’s alive in this universe makes me want to find her and let her know how much i appreciate her existence.
when i first saw the previews for 12 years a slave i wasn’t too sold on actually wanting to see it but it was lupita nyongo’s character that kept me curious enough to want to see what it was about & surely after watching i wanted to know who she was. i wasn’t sure how she would be accepted & for sure never expected her to be known so soon & so widely. none the less she deserves her shine. she deserves to be recognized in her essence. lupita to me is an inspiration for people & indeed a woman with not only skills but intelligence. of course her beauty alone as been capturing the eyes of everyone but there’s truly something even more special rooted in her. i love an individual that can stand out in a crowd without even doing the most.
when it comes to excuses i’ve made more than my share. i will find reason upon reason to get out of doing something or taking the back road when it comes to pushing myself. i reflected on that for a bit last week & became utterly disgusted with myself. i look at those who have put themselves in a position to be a success story & then i look at myself and wonder will i ever get myself out of this deep whole i’ve dug for myself. excuses are lame point blank. they are made by those who are not willing to go forward without looking backwards. excuses are made by those who fear something good will happen if only they applied themselves & yes these reflections are reflected by my very own life. i have good things happening & all i can think about is wanting to set a pace - well.. sometimes LIFE isn’t about a set pace. sometimes it’s about being daring & understanding that there’s only this shot right now. i’m just really writing this post as a reminder to myself that there are no excuses only opportunities if i am willing to grab them with my might.
i’ve accepted that with change things come to an end. sometimes those endings are bittersweet and sometimes i don’t wanna let go, and i don’t. what happens next is i end up with knots in my stomach from the ultimate bad choice i chose to make after knowing why i initially needed for things to end. i’m stuck in a place i no longer want to be stuck in for various reasons like 1. it’s toxic, 2. it’s not about me and more so about them 3. i find myself stuck in a war that i’ve created on my own with someone who doesn’t even care to notice & 4. it’s just time. it’s time for me to see the light & understand that things must come to an end and as much as i hate to be the barrier of those endings they must happen. friendships, family dynamics & even self infliction can be far more time consuming than i’d like for them to be. i’m taking a few steps back to breathe, exhale & see beauty in nature. there’s so much to be happy about. forget the rest.
i set up my strobe light set last night that i got in the mail last week from amazon & i must say the lighting made a huge difference in how my photos came out. i’m trying to understand exposure better and in a sense having various lighting set ups really help. don’t mind the mess.
night photography is my favorite genre of photography but has also been the most challenging to shoot beings though light is an important factor in how the photos come out. these photos are from various shots taken between 2012 & 2013. i love how seasons change but things rarely change.
these are just a few photos of my family from left to right - sister, brother & mother. these are also a few edits that i recently had a chance to work on as the original / edited versions needed a few revisions. time to put my camera to use again.
i’ve been wanting to share my work for a while and thought now would be the best time to do so. i’m going to try harder to be dedicated this time around so i’m doing so with this first batch of photos with the very first taken back in 2011 or 2012. not sure. the next photo is of my mothers book of poetry & the last photo is the most recent.
if it was never clear before today g r a c e j o n e s gives me life. i don’t know too much about her but i’ve seen many photos of her throughout my years of living and i’ve always wondered how she dared to be different in a world where beauty is the forefront. from her haircut, style to how she used her expressions as a form of individuality makes me want to find my inner grace jones & she happens to be a taurus. it’s meant to be.